Straight up bitch

Anonymous sent: Did you hurt your feelings that Brittany didn't stand up for you when Mr Schuester kicked you out of Glee Club at the start of the year?

It’s not Brittany’s job to fight my battles for me.

Anonymous sent: Do you like your pepperoni better in a bra or an a pizza?

…on a pizza?

Anonymous sent: How hot is Brittany?

Do you want me to put a number on it or something? She’s hot, you just need to look at her to figure that out.

Anonymous sent: Did dancing on a cafeteria table during lunch hit your top 10 experiences from senior year?

Yeah, that was pretty fun. I could have done without the food fight afterwards though.

Anonymous sent: Would you forgive Brittany if she cheated on you?

I guess it would depend on the circumstances, but yeah, I think so.

Anonymous sent: Do you walk around naked at home sometimes? Does Brittany walk around naked in her house more often than you do in your house?

Not really. Usually somebody’s in my house, and I think it’s the same for Britt. If no-one’s around we usually don’t worry about getting dressed though.

Anonymous sent: No, being whipped would help Brittany. She can always tell you what to do and you will do it. That's what parents are suppose to be like right? One parent tells the other what to do. But I guess Sugar's already your daughter and it would be weird if her siblings were kittens...

I don’t think that’s how it works. Besides, Brittany doesn’t tell me what to do. She sometimes asks me to do things and I… do them.

Anonymous sent: If you could change anything about the flaming piano incident, would you? What would you change?

I don’t know. A lot could have changed if I hadn’t done that - I might have been kicked off the Cheerios, which would have meant the guy Coach Sue was running against would never have made that commercial about me, and I might be sitting here today telling you how dreamy Edward Cullen is.

Okay, that probably wouldn’t happen, but things would be different. I don’t think I’d change it though - at the time I needed to be a Cheerio and to be captain more than I needed to stay loyal to glee. Or at least I thought I did. I might have made sure Blaine at least singed his eyebrows though.

talktocoachsue sent: I don't think I've had the chance to say this, Sandbags, but we will miss you on the Cheerios field. You were an excellent addition.

Thanks, Coach. I’m actually going to miss your, uh, wisdom too.

Anonymous sent: Will the kittens be like yours and Brittany's children. That would be so cute! You would make really good mothers. Plus you are whipped, so it's perfect!

Cats as children? Are we really that gay? The kittens are Charity’s anyway. And probably Tubbington’s, even though he has absentee father written all over him.

I don’t think being whipped would help me with being a mother to kittens though.